It's Not Just Adam and Eve anymore

"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

If there's one line that bothers me more when it comes to the religious community's opposition to the right to love, you'd have a hard time finding it. There is only a partial truth in the above statement, and that is that God made those two human beings. Let me be very clear here. This is not an attack on the religious community by any means. But when a group's only argument against the LGBTQ's of this world is the whole Adam/Eve not Adam/Steve debate, it gets old, and quick.

When I first came out back in 2006, I was met with this statement from more than a few family members. I was made to feel as if how I felt was wrong, and that I was just going through a phase. I did a lot of soul searching, maybe they were right, I thought. Maybe it was a phase, maybe I was just confused. But the more I thought about it, the more I KNEW that wasn't the case. I knew that I was attracted to both men and women, and even though I'd grown up being told that was wrong, I couldn't help but feel the way that I felt.

Once I came out, another family member (who I'll not name here) took it upon herself to tell other members of my family, one being my Grandmother. My Nan, God love her, has a very deep faith, and was also raised with the belief that if its written in the bible, then it must be true. When she found out about my sexuality, she was disappointed. Hurt. But know who was hurt even more? Me. I felt as if I didn't really know her; that if she truly loved me, she'd accept me for who I am, sexuality and all. But that wasn't the case. And again I heard that age old argument of Adam/Eve, not Adam/Steve. And she wasn't the only family member to say so.

Look, I get it. Some people are happy being with the opposite gender, and that's perfectly okay. Just as same sex marriage is. What's the difference? Gay couples can have children through surrogates. Lesbian couples can have children through sperm donors. All that matters in the end is that the child/children resulting from that union are loved, protected, and raised to be productive members of society. And more often than not, they are.

But hold on, you say. Won't a child raised in that environment grow up to be gay or lesbian like their parents? Not necessarily. Some may, and that's alright. But many children who grow up in "straight" homes don't always turn out like their parents. All children need is love. They don't care if they have a mom and a dad, two moms or two dads. All they care about is that there is someone in this world who wanted them more than anything, and who will always love them unconditionally.

When I see the age old argument being made about gay and lesbian marriages, I often shake my head. I'm not for one minute mocking God and the Bible, (I myself am a woman of faith. A bisexual one, but who cares?) I just think that people need to not worry so much about it. Being LGBTQ is not a sin. Nowhere does it state in the ten commandments that "Thou shalt not lie with another person of the same gender". The Bible says not to kill, steal, commit adultery, covet thy neighbour's possessions, etc. But all too often in today's world, all these sins are committed. People die at the hands of others, and God forgives them. People steal, and are forgiven. If all two people are guilty of is loving each other, then I think people need to step back and take a good hard look at themselves.

Doesn't everyone deserve to be loved? Isn't that what everyone dreams of- to find that special someone, settle down, and build a life? Then who cares who we choose to do that with, whether it be male or female? Love is love no matter how you try to break it down. Adam and Eve, Adam and Steve, or Alexis and Eve. Its all the same. Maybe it's time to open up our minds and hearts and be a little more kind to those of us who choose a different path in life than what our families expected.

With peace, hope, love and understanding,
Krista (a proud member of the LGBTQ community)
xoxoxoxo

LoveIsLove- LoveEqualsLove- Equality

Whoo. I've thought about this for a long time, wondering if I could share with the world who I really am. I wondered if people would accept me for who I am. For the most part, my friends and the majority of my family accept it.

I'm bisexual. Yes, it's true. I haven't always known it, but about 7-8 years ago, I had a good friend who helped me become comfortable with the truth. I finally knew who I was. And I was scared as hell to admit it.

At first, the reaction was disbelief. My own mother thought it was some phase I was going through. My father wanted me to "be happy, but not in that way." It felt demoralizing. Why should I change who I am? I wasn't confused, like many people thought. I knew who I was, and I was happy about it.

Though I'm no longer friends with the person who helped me with my acceptance of who I am, I am thankful to her for freeing me. 

I first met Jamie through the now defunct online kitchen party on the Great Big Sea website, and we just hit it off immediately. With her, I was fearless. For the first time in my life, I felt like I truly knew what it was to be loved by someone other than my family. And I didn't care who knew we were together. We loved each other, and that was all that really mattered.

I remember an incident in college that had me upset. I remember walking home to my apartment, in tears. When I got there, Jamie was waiting for me, and it'd never felt so right. She held me till the tears subsided, and I knew I was going to be okay. When we went back to the college to pick up some things I'd forgotten, the instructor that had upset me was in the classroom, helping another fellow student. She glared at me, but Jamie glared right back. I knew then that she had my back.

I remember one night at a pub in St. John's. We were dancing and having a blast. But this one fella would not leave her alone no matter what she said or did. I don't know what came over me that night, but I leaned over and said "kiss me," and she did. There was applause. I was showing love to the person I loved, and didn't care who knew it. We held hands on the way back to the hostel, and I didn't care who saw us.

We're no longer together, but that was a mutual decision. She has a new love now, and I accept that. And someday I hope to find that special someone.

To all those who support me and love me despite being bi, thank you. It was hard to say at first, but your acceptance meant and still means the world to me.

And to all those who struggle daily with the decision to come out, I want you to know that no matter how scary it is at first, it will get easier. And you are loved, remember that. No matter what, someone will ALWAYS love you!

I wanna end on this note. Never let somebody else judge you. Love who you want, and screw everyone else. You're still the same person you always were. Who cares if you're a woman that loves another woman. So what if you're a guy that loves another guy? That's none of anyone else's business. Love who you want to love. As long as you're happy, who is the world to judge that?

Peace & love,

Hugs & Kisses,

Krista 

TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms) Day 2010; Winning the Battle

So, today is TWLOHA Day 2010. 


I don't know how to describe it, to be honest, so we'll just leave the hard stuff up to wikipedia.org. Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Write_Love_on_Her_Arms


I participated in this cause last year, and I've chosen to do so again this year. I think its important to show support and present hope for people struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury, and  thoughts of suicide.


Not all of you know this, but I have battled with depression for the last 9 years. There have been many times when I've thought about ending it all. I had thought of ways to do it, but had never thought I would carry through on any of them.


But then in August of last year, after returning home from a trip to Toronto, I crashed from the high. I was back home, home was boring, and nobody seemed to understand. I felt so alone. I felt like nobody cared, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth. So I went to the bathroom, and I took the nearest thing I could find. I think it was reactine, if memory serves me correctly. I downed whatever was left of them, and then just waited for the pain to stop.


But somewhat luckily I guess, Mom found the empty box, and questioned me on what I had done. I slowly owned up to it, and then we rushed to the hospital. The whole way there, my stomach was in knots. What had I done? Had I just tried to kill myself? Yes, that's exactly what I had done. And I hated myself for it.


When at the hospital, I kept thinking of all the people I would be letting down. My mom, for one. The woman who had brought me into the world, and given me life. The rest of my family, my adopted sisters, my adopted nephews, especially Paddy. He looks up to me, I thought, how could I let him down.  And Alan from GBS. His songs had always pulled me through, and I hadn't thought to listen to Ordinary Day that day. How would he feel, knowing what I'd just attempted? I couldn't believe all the people I was letting down.


But luckily, by the Grace of God, I am still here today, and stronger than I have ever been. I have the best friends and family a woman could ask for, and someday I resolve to tell Alan that he's saved my life, literally. I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him and the music of GBS.


So now, to show my support for my own cause, and for others going through the same things I did, I ask you to write love on your arms, and post a picture of it on facebook, or twitter, or whatever social networking site you use.


Here's mine:

Stay strong!

Krista