Keep on Shining; find your spark

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was not long home from a fantastic trip to Ontario with my friends Amelia, Paddy, Janice and Chad. There had been a trip to Niagara Falls, sightseeing around Toronto, the Hockey Hall of Fame, singing in a pub, and a GBS concert - the only one I've seen outside of Newfoundland - a truly marvelous trip.

I remember feeling emotional about leaving. I didn't want to go. I cried.

The whole time I was flying back home, I remember feeling that it wasn't right. As much as I loved my family and my home, I didn't want to be back there. I had enjoyed my Independence, savoured being somewhere different. And I suppose it was this emotional trip that triggered such a rash decision.

When I got home, I was still emotional. I remember being argumentative. I didn't want to be there. Anywhere else would've been better at the time. I felt I was a burden, the cause of all my mother and stepfather's troubles. I hated it. I didn't want to cause them trouble. The solution seemed so clear to me in that moment - end my life, and they won't be stressed.

So I went to the bathroom, looking for a way out. I looked in the medicine cabinet, and took the very first thing I could find. More than half a dozen pills I took. I went to my room crying, just waiting for things to be done. I didn't want to feel. I curled up in a ball, turned on my music, and waited. I just felt so done. I didn't want to live.

Two things saved me that day. The first was my mother. I thank God every day that she discovered that foil pill wrapper and realized what I had done. Rushed me to the hospital, scared of losing me. To be honest, in that moment, I was scared of dying too. I realized my mistake, and all of the pain I would've left people with had I been successful in my attempt. I thank God that I wasn't.

The second thing was music. Great Big Sea. One of the songs that came on while I was sitting on my bedroom floor, crying, was Ordinary Day. Alan and Sean's words resonated with me that day; they hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that no struggle I was going through was worth ending my life over. We all have struggles, some worse than others, but we all have that option to sink or swim. I chose to swim. And I still do.

I can't say I've not struggled over the years, because I have. There are still days when bad thoughts creep into my head - that I'm not good enough, strong enough, or that the people in my life deserve better than me. It's a daily struggle sometimes - there are days that the depression is so physically draining that I don't want to get out of bed. So I don't. I take care of me and if the laundry doesn't get done or dishes don't get washed, I don't worry. Taking care of myself is most important.

I search for reasons to live, and they're not hard to find: my friends (who have become a 2nd family) and my family - especially my almost 3 year old nephew. Had I been successful in my attempt 6 years ago, I'd never know the joys of being called Auntie Krista or of watching the same fireworks video over and over or of taking pictures and seeing the world through his eyes. I love him more than life itself, and I'm thankful for him. He's a light in my life, even though I don't see him often. The music gives me reason to live too. If I kill myself, those songs meant nothing, the words of encouragement would have failed. I can't let that happen. I need to live, because I can perhaps help another who is struggling.

This light that is my life isn't going out anytime soon. I'll keep fighting, and keep my light shining - even if I have to find a spark to help me out every once in a while ❤

13 years and counting

May 25, 2002. I was a high school student, in my second last year of high school. On that particular morning, while on my morning stroll up and down the hall, a poster happened to catch my eye. I stopped to look at it for show reason, and was intrigued. It read: An Evening of Music with Alan Doyle and his guitar. I knew the name, but wasn't the fan I am now. All the same though, I was interested in hearing him and seeing if I liked his music.

When I returned home from school that evening, I told my mother about the poster, and the event. She agreed it sounded like something good to do, and the price of $10 was decent. So we got tickets, and I eagerly awaited Saturday night. Just a few days before the show, several people found out that Séan (McCann) would be accompanying Alan for the night. So we were seeing half of what was then the current arrangement of GBS for a decent price and a great cause.

I don't remember much about that night, save for a few details. Alan won me over with Boston and St. John's, Séan belted out General Taylor with all his might, and nearly split my eardrums (and I suspect of others). There were jokes (Yo, who's the Big C?) and ("for the rest of the evening, I'll be his guitar), and continuous banter. I remember them being disoriented because they weren't standing in their usual spots on the stage. I remember being starstruck when asking for their autographs. But most of all I remember the feeling of belonging. I was hooked,instantly. 2 weeks later I owned Sea of No Cares, and I haven't looked back.

It's seen me through all the ups and downs life has thrown at me. There was a divorce, my autism, a suicide attempt (my own), bullying, floods, and now a continued battle with depression. I've made some amazing friends - most of who I consider family now, travelled, organized pre-show gatherings, and grown in so many ways. The depression is the worst of it all. Sometimes it feels like it's swallowing me whole, and I don't know how I'll get through. I turn to music, and to Alan (who feels more like a friend after 13 years) who is almost always there with kind words, advice, a smile or funny face, and on several occasions since June 2010, a comforting hug.

All this came because I stopped to look at a poster in the hallway at school. Nothing more, nothing less.

Best decision I've ever made!

Jealous

I admit it. I'm jealous.

All you girls/women out there that have a great relationship with your Dad, I envy you. Probably so much so that the ugly green eyed monster is rearing its head right now. But it's not your fault. Not one bit.

Even from my earliest memories, my Dad and I aren't what I would call close. Does he love me? Yeah, that I have no doubt of. But his mind of love is just the kind that exists because of DNA. He has to love me because he fathered me. Hugs always felt empty, and words were too. After a while, it just seemed normal to me.

As I grew, nothing really changed. He didn't have time for me, and I made myself be okay with it. If I closed myself off to the pain being let down brought, it wouldn't hurt as bad. Or so I thought. But through countless broken promises and lies, the wall that I'd built up slowly crumbled. Every time he'd broken a promise to me, I'd cry, wondering why he'd done it. It made me feel like I was just a second thought. Never a priority.

To be honest with you all, I always thought there was something wrong with me; that there had to be something I did or said that made him decide that I wasn't worth spending time with. Logically I know that's not the case, but when you think with your heart, things are never as clear as they should be. I now know the truth for what it is: he's selfish. If he cared about me at all, he wouldn't make promises he couldn't keep. If he really loves me, he'd stop letting me down, and I'd stop being hurt. I'm sick of being let down. I'm sick of crying over him, time and time again. Sick of tears streaming down my face, and my heart feeling like it's breaking.

All I want is a normal relationship with my Dad, one where he loves me and protects me just like a father should. But that's a pipe dream that's never going to come true. Every girl deserves a father who values and treasures her, makes her feel special. That's never going to be a reality for me. Might as well get used to it, I guess, because that's my normal.

So to you girls out there lucky enough to have a great relationship with your Dad, treasure it. Your reality is something I could only dream of.

Happy Birthday Great Big Sea (published in The Newfoundland Herald)!

Wow, where do I even start?

I discovered Great Big Sea at a time in my life when I needed them most. My parents were splitting up, I had been diagnosed with autism, and I never really did fit in at school. Finding GBS was a godsend. In their music I found a safe place, a place where no amount of bullying I endured mattered. I found people online with whom I had a common interest. For once in my life, I fit in and things finally made sense to me.

As I've gotten older, being a GBS fan has served me well. You see, being autistic, I don't like being in big crowds, but that changed when I started going to concerts. It was at concerts that I could forget all the negative things that might've been going on, and if only for a couple hours, have fun. I've done things I never thought I could do - I organized a get together in March of 2009 for people attending a show (and I'm still friends with most of them), and I traveled outside of Newfoundland (i was on a friggin plane, you guys!), and have a roommate (anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not easy to live with). I'm not saying I never would've done these things without the band, but having them as inspiration certainly doesn't hurt! And when I was at my lowest point, it was the music of Great Big Sea that saved my life. I truly felt like I was a burden on my family, and that I had no other options. I won't go into details, but I did attempt to take my own life. As I listened to Ordinary Day, I wondered how I could do such a thing. Life wasn't that bad, I just had to get up and keep trying. And even though I still have my struggles today, the music continues to be a part of the anchor that keeps me where I'm supposed to be!

Even though the band has gone through several changes since I first became a fan, I wouldn't trade a single moment of the nearly 13 years you've all been a part of my life. Thank you guys for everything - the music and memories, and friendships created along the way. They're a precious gift I will treasure always! Happy 22nd Birthday Great Big Sea! It's been one hell of a crazy ride, but I wouldn't trade a second of it!

So Let's Go - updated lyrics

These come straight from Alan's website, www.alandoyle ca, so they are correct

SO LET’S GO
Alan Doyle/ Thomas Tawgs Salter

Watching the sand fall
Gets you nothing
Like the hands on the clock wall
Oh I love it when you’re standing up so tall
And all you are is all aglow

Here we are in our own space
And I believe in
Every bright smile that I’ve faced
Keep’em coming
‘Cause I’m feeling the same way
Turn it on and off we go

We’ll run till we fall
And the closing bell’s calling
We’re only here for so long
We lead and we follow
Tonight till tomorrow
We go and we go till we’re gone
So Lets Go

The long road’s behind us
And we made it
To this bright night that finds us
All together
What has long been denied us
Could be ours to know

And I can see you moving
Let me hear it
When you whisper I’m losing
And I can feel it
When your heart beats the truth
And it’s the only thing I know

—

I CAN’T DANCE WITHOUT YOU
Alan Doyle/ Todd Clark/ Donovan Woods

There’s a war in every heart
There’s a battle for every scar
There’s a wish for every star
I know it’s true
I can’t fly on one wing
Without a word I’ve got nothing to sing
There’s a jewel for every ring
I know it’s you

I’ll tell you no lies
I’ll tell you nothing but the truth
Give me tonight
I’ll give a lifetime back to you

Oh, like the moonlight without the moon
Oh, I can’t dance without you
Oh, like a song without a tune
Oh, I can’t dance without you

I’m gonna need a little help
I don’t know these steps so well
And my hand can’t hold itself
It takes two
I know I can’t keep the time
‘Til your heart beats into mine
Like the morning needs the night
I need you

I’ll tell you no lies
I’ll tell you nothing but the truth
Give me tonight
I’ll give a lifetime back to you

Oh, like the moonlight without the moon
Oh, I can’t dance without you
Oh, like a song without a tune
Oh, I can’t dance without you

Something so rare
Something beautiful and true
Let the world disappear
Just let me stand in front of you

I’ll tell you no lies
I’ll tell you nothing but the truth
Give me tonight
I’ll give a lifetime back to you

Oh, like the moonlight without the moon
Oh, I can’t dance without you
Oh, like a song without a tune
Oh, I can’t dance without you

—

THE NIGHT LOVES US
Alan Doyle/Todd Clark/Donovan Woods

It’s the magic hour in the middle of the park
When it’s not quite daylight and not quite dark
The edge of the water is where it all starts
We might never get back here again

And time stands still in the river’s arms
Sinking slowly away from the lights of the car
But we see each other, we know who we are
Our secret’s the star of the show
And deeper and deeper we go

Come on open your heart
The night loves us and loves us as we are
Oh, c’mon show me your scars
The night loves us and loves us as we are
The night loves us and loves us as we are

Here in the moonlight it’s easy to trace
The blue of my bruises, the lines of your face
But beauty so true it should not be erased
And buried for no one to know
So deeper and deeper we go

Come on open your heart
The night loves us and loves us as we are
Oh, c’mon show me your scars
The night loves us and loves us as we are
The night loves us and loves us as we are
The night loves us and loves us as we are

Now every magic hour between daylight and dark
I still feel the water, I still see the stars
For we stole a moment and took it to heart
And it beats every turn in the road
So deeper and deeper we go

Come on open your heart
The night loves us and loves us as we are
Oh, c’mon show me your scars
The night loves us and loves us as we are

—

LAYING DOWN TO PERISH
Alan Doyle

Living isn’t easy
Dying isn’t hard
When the hungriest days of winter
Plays her wicked cards

I’ll not be called a quitter
‘Cause I chose to take a knee
For the ice won’t e’er be broken
Not by no man, not by me

Laying down to perish
God knows where I’ll go
Laying down to perish
I just wanted you to know

I’ll make my wife a widow
But I won’t have her trace the shore
With a candle in the window
And foolish hope above the door

I’ve got no time for haunting
The ones I’ve held so dear
So I’ll carve the crudest message now
Before I disappear

Laying down to perish
God knows where I’ll go
Laying down to perish
I just wanted you to know

I am not so sad to pass
To what lies beyond the snow
But to have you think I left you
Would break my heart and soul

Let there be a warm hereafter
In the sweetest by and by
Let my house be filled with laughter
Should I ever cross your mind, now I’m

Laying down to perish
God knows where I’ll go
Laying down to perish
I just wanted you to know

—

MY KINGDOM
Alan Doyle/Jerrod Bettis/Todd Clark

Here I stand upon the mountain I was facing
All I am is just man who’s wrapped in gold
Still I haven’t found the one thing I’ve been chasing
Tell me where did you go?

I’d let the castle walls come down
And let the armies take the crown
My kingdom, my kingdom for you
It’s a cold and lonely throne
I’d run the sword back in the stone
My kingdom, my kingdom for you
My kingdom, my kingdom for you

Running down the road like those that ran before me
Where I lost your hand, oh heaven only knows
And though a thousand men and horses stand beside me
I stand alone
Tell me where did you go?

I’d let the castle walls come down
And let the armies take the crown
My kingdom, my kingdom for you
It’s a cold and lonely throne
I’d run the sword back in the stone
My kingdom, my kingdom for you
My kingdom, my kingdom for you

Tell me
South wind, North Star
All I need to know
Tell me
How long, how far
Tell me where’d you go

I’d let the castle walls come down
And let the armies take the crown
My kingdom, my kingdom for you
It’s a cold and lonely throne
I’d run the sword back in the stone
My kingdom, my kingdom for you
My kingdom, my kingdom for you

—

1,2,3,4
Alan Doyle/Ed Robertson

Whiskey, whiskey
The singer’s getting sore
We raised the roof
Now we’re lowering the floor
The band is blistered but we’ve got a little bit more
When I say 1,2 you say 3,4
1,2,3,4

Altogether
Altogether gone
It’s now or never if you want another song
On and on goes the ringing of the bell
Off we go, this song won’t sing itself
So soldiers at my side
It’s you and me tonight

Whiskey, whiskey
The singer’s getting sore
We raised the roof
Now we’re lowering the floor
The band is blistered but we’ve got a little bit more
When I say 1,2 you say 3,4
1,2,3,4

Mister moonlight
You gotta let ‘em play
If the devils wanna dance
Then the piper wants his pay
Hide me in a hiding place
Where good sense never goes
Take me to the fountain
Where the firewater flows
Find our alibies and lies
And lose ourselves tonight

Whiskey, whiskey
The singer’s getting sore
We raised the roof
Now we’re lowering the floor
The band is blistered but we’ve got a little bit more
When I say 1,2 you say 3,4
1,2,3,4

Trying to get the whole room on the dance floor
Is like trying to put a square peg in a round hole
I’m not saying it ain’t something that we shouldn’t try to do
Don’t do it for me though, do it for you
You’ve been minding your manners and behaving yourself
But there’s still a lot of bottles left upon the shelf
So wet my little whistle now and give a dog a bone
I can take it up a notch, can’t do it alone
So soldiers at my side
It’s you and me tonight

Whiskey, whiskey
The singer’s getting sore
We raised the roof
Now we’re lowering the floor
The band is blistered but we’ve got a little bit more
When I say 1,2 you say 3,4
1,2,3,4

—

STAY
Alan Doyle/Scott Grimes

You’ve gotta go
Barbie doll castles are closing down
You’re off to the show
And I’d never tell you to turn around now
Remember your coat, I
Remember the winter that you came around
Before you hit the road
Why don’t you dance with me now?

Why don’t you stay?
The song only lasts for so long
All I can say
Is I’ll miss you the moment you’re gone
So show me that smile and hang for awhile
You’re headed a lifetime away
Why don’t you stay?

Don’t draw the shades
Let the king lie in the setting sun
I’ve got so much to say now
It’s funny the days when the courage comes
Before you fly away
Know it goes on, everything you’ve begun
The band is still playing
Why don’t we wait till they’re done?

Why don’t you stay?
The song only lasts for so long
All I can say
Is I’ll miss you the moment you’re gone
So show me that smile and hang for awhile
You’re headed a lifetime away
Why don’t you stay?

One more for the road
Some soldiers won’t die ‘til the light of day
And drinking alone, is
For only the loneliest anyway
So here’s to the ghosts
And here’s to the games that we lost and we loved
We come and we go
But a lifetime is never enough

Why don’t you stay?
The song only lasts for so long
All I can say
Is I’ll miss you the moment you’re gone
So show me that smile and hang for awhile
You’re headed a lifetime away
Why don’t you stay?

—

SINS OF SATURDAY NIGHT
Alan Doyle/ Gordie Sampson

There’s not a bump in the road
As far as I can see
Do you wanna slow down
Or do you wanna dance with me?
There’s no turning back, no
Not for pleasure or pain
You can’t hit the brakes on
On a runaway train

So let the walls come down in this sleepy old town
We’re running out of rules to break
It’s a wicked old time when the stars collide
Heaven’s gonna have to wait
So come what may, tomorrow we’ll pay
In the cold Sunday morning light
But that’s a long, long way from the sins of Saturday night

We’re a world and a half away
We’ve got nothing but time
Hell to pay is the last thing on my mind
So bring on the burn
The heat is just right
The song is worth the sorrow
And we’re singing it tonight

So let the walls come down in this sleepy old town
We’re running out of rules to break
It’s a wicked old time when the stars collide
Heaven’s gonna have to wait
So come what may, tomorrow we’ll pay
In the cold Sunday morning light
But that’s a long, long way from the sins of Saturday night

There’s not a bump in the road
As far as I can see
So let the walls come down in this sleepy old town
We’re running out of rules to break
It’s a wicked old time when the stars collide
Heaven’s gonna have to wait
So come what may, tomorrow we’ll pay
In the cold Sunday morning light
But that’s a long, long way from the sins of Saturday night

—

SHINE ON
Alan Doyle/Jerrod Bettis

When you were young
Where did you hide
When the ghosts under your bed made you cry?
Just yesterday
Where did you run
Did you lose you way before the day’d begun?

You were lonely for a while
Did you find your mother’s smile
And did it shine on
Shine on

Where did you think
You’d be by now
Did it look like somewhere else someway, somehow?
When you drove away
Was there a sound
A simple melody that turned it all around?

And the moment you were gone
Did you hear your favourite song
And did it shine on
Shine on

Sometimes it hides
In the hardest times
A most beautiful blessing in disguise

Even on the darkest days
There’s a spark to light the way
And let it shine on
Shine on

—

TAKE US HOME
Alan Doyle/Thomas Tawgs Salter

This is my hand
Take it now it’s yours to keep
These are my eyes
Look into them and you’ll see
How a rainbow needs the rain
Or it will never shine again
It’s the same for you and me

These are my footsteps
Falling surely next to yours
This is the moment
That we’ve been waiting for
It’s our story now to tell
Raise the curtain, ring the bell
And open up the doors

Hey, altogether we will be
We’re forever you and me
Hey, the sun will show us where to go
Love will give us heart and soul
And take us home

These are my arms
Come to them when you’re cold
This is my shoulder
Rest your head and dream of home
For there’ll nights and there’ll be days
It seems a long, long ways away
But we’ll make it now I know

This is my song
It’s the only one I know
This is my heart
Take it with you when you go
I wanna thank you for the show
No one wants to dance alone
I’ll see you down the road

—

Touring musicians and the dark side of their fans

Music fans really baffle me to no end. If there is no show next them they whine and bitch about it to the musician(s) doing the tour. "Any (insert towns here) date?" Or "Its too expensive for me to go (such and such place), come here instead." Those people come off as selfish and spoiled. I understand the need to see a show, and I know we're all not lucky to have a venue close to us (I myself am 2 hours from the closest one here).

But to those of you wanting musicians to play here, there, everywhere and all the little places in between, I urge you to stop and think for a moment. Put yourself in their shoes. Did you ever stop to think that some of these musicians have families and would like to spend time with them? Obviously you don't, that's clear.  I'm sure that if you even remotely cared about them that you'd want them to have that balance- their own home, family and bed. I'm sure you'd miss it if you were in their shoes.

Remember, they are human beings first - they are parents and spouses, and do all the same things we all do. And just because they entertain for a living doesn't mean that they don't deserve their rest and relaxation too.

I think what bothers me about fans who want musicians to play closer is how they go about asking. There are those that are genuinely sad. Okay, that I understand. But when some people get out and out nasty and verbally abusive, I can't help but think "He wants to play for you why?" Whatever happened to treating someone with respect? Does he not deserve it because he's a public figure? Does the age old rule of treat others how you want to be treated suddenly fly out the window here?

Maybe the reason I'm upset is because the musician I see being treated this way is someone that I've known for years. I've seen the human side of him- Dad and husband. I see how happy being with his family makes him. I feel sad when I see people demanding shows from him because I think of his child, who because of the selfish demands of fans who can never seemingly get enough, doesn't get to spend nearly as much time with his Dad as he should. I fear that we as a fan base will be a source of resentment for this kid, because of how often his father was away entertaining because someone needed their fix. And I don't use that word lightly here at all, because there are those out there that are well and truly addicted.

To those of you I'm referring to, do you really want that on your conscious? Do you want to be the reason a child doesn't get to spend time with their dad? Surely some of you work away and don't get to spend as much time with your children as you'd like to. Surely you can understand this situation. How would you feel if before you even left to do your job that your employer (because that's what we music fans are to a musician) basically told you that what you were doing was not good enough, and that on top of doing your regular job you also had to spend any possible down time you got satisfying the needs of a greedy customer? How would you feel knowing that you weren't going to get to spend time with your family, time that you can never get back, perhaps missing an important milestone in the process?

Maybe I'm wasting my breath here. Chances are most people won't read this rant, I don't rightly know. Perhaps some of you will, maybe even some of you who are the people I'm talking about. But even then, will you realize that I'm talking about you? Probably not. Because you don't see this as a problem.

But then, the toughest part of any addiction is admitting you have a problem in the first place.

Been a Long time now...

God, it feels like forever since I've written in this space. Not to make excuses, but my old tablet broke, and my computer isn't hooked up to the internet, which left me with just my iPod touch as my sole connection to the internet. On top of that, my iPod is fussy at best, so I wasn't going to tempt fate and try installing the blogger app on it- it would've been too big a headache. But that's all changed now you see. So on NYE I broke down and bought a new tablet, and things have become oh so much easier. So now I have the blogger app again, and I'm ready to write! So with that said, here goes!

Last I checked, I left off with a post about hockey and the Habs untimely exit from the playoffs. I was feeling a whole range of emotions then, and not much has changed in the 7+ months since then. I still despise Chris Kreider, and I suspect I will for a long time. Habs fans don't forget. But thankfully a new season is upon us, and as I type, the Habs sit 2nd in the Atlantic division (24-11-2) only two points behind Tampa. With a back to back against New Jersey and Pittsburgh on Friday and Saturday, I don't expect this to be the case for very long.

So, its been interesting since I've last been here. The last 7 months saw me get more tattoos; (and I love getting inked, so I know you can guess how I've been this year) 3 more actually, and I love each of them.

My first tattoo this year was on May 15 (before my old tablet broke). For a long time up to that point, I'd had toyed with the idea of getting a Great Big Sea tattoo, but didn't know exactly what to get. I didn't want it to be obvious and just have the band's name on my leg, but I didn't want it to be obscure either. What I finally decided on was the artwork from the album Play. As all you GBS fans reading know, the Play cover featured little bobblehead fella- affectionately known as Dabs (Darrell, Alan, Bob, Sean), who would also make an appearance in the video for the song When I'm Up (I Can't Get Down). Somehow I just knew that he'd be perfect. And I wasn't wrong :) I later tweeted the four original band members the picture of my tattoo, and got retweets from Bob and Darrell.

June was fairly uneventful, but that turned out to be a good thing because July more than made up for it. There was the Clarenville Days Dance where Síle and I got to see The Navigators (Arthur O'Brien and Fred Jorgenson) perform. Love those guys! They're fast becoming one of my favourite bands!

Later that month was Garden Cove Day, and although I had tweeted Alan about it, I was certain he wasn't coming, as he'd had a late night the night before. So imagine my surprise when I look up from the game I was working, and see him standing there. I think that even said something along the lines of "I didn't think you were going to be here today!" Y'see, his Uncle Ronnie's band was celebrating their 50th anniversary the night before, and since he'd been a part of the band for a while, Alan also took part. Through conversation we had after I finished my hour at the Plinko game, I learned that he'd only gotten 3 hours sleep before heading out for the festivities of the day. I showed him the above tattoo, and he grinned: Way to go girl, was his response :) 3/4 ain't bad! 

He also got in the dunk tank, and drew quite a crowd. No, I wasn't the one who dunked him, because I was taking pictures of the entire thing. Poor guy, I don't think he thought he was actually going to get dunked! Here's a photo of him, soaking wet, and then a fun selfie we got together. 

If July was fantastic, then August was even more so! Early August saw Síle and I head into St. John's as Alan was headlining the final night of the 2014 George Street Festival. While there, we got to meet the federal NDP leader Tom Mulcair (Thank you Amelia), and became friends with a fellow fan named Sheila (who was from Saskatchewan- what are the odds?) and left with sore throats and tender feet. But it was all worth it. Here's a few pictures from the show:

There are more on Facebook if you're interested.

September, not much on the go,  except my birthday (29- holy crap). Pretty good as far as birthdays go. Definitely not looking forward to my 30th!

October saw the second new tattoo (4th overall) of 2014, one that I had been wanting for a long time- my Habs one. My tattoo artist and I talked it over, and nailed down a design that I liked. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love my Montreal Canadiens, so it just made sense to have a tattoo done to celebrate my fandom. This was the final product:

I later tweeted a picture of it to several Habs players, and got a reply from Brandon Prust. One of my greatest moments as a fan!

Also, due to my enduring fandom, I won a copy of Alan's book- Where I Belong. I had ordered a copy of it, as preordered copies were guaranteed to be signed. To paraphrase the man from CBC "because you stayed on the line so long without talking to Alan, we decided that you deserved a copy." Proof that being a devoted fan pays off. Here's my signed copy I won:

November, oh November... You were perfect, you know that? 

Síle and I went to St. John's in early that month for a benefit concert for Gord O'Brien, who after 75 years had to close his family run music store. So some of Newfoundland's finest got together to raise money to help him out. Front and center we were, and enjoyed every moment. And while the show was fantastic, my highlight of the night would come after the show. Síle and I made our way over to the barrier that separated the crowd from the musicians where we waited for my chance to see the host of the night, Alan Doyle. When he came out from backstage, I got his attention and instead of just coming straight to the barrier he made his way around it and came straight to me. What happened next surprised me. Without hesitation Alan pulled me in for a hug and then asked in a concerned voice "So how have you been doing girl?" Better yet, the hug lasted just a bit longer than normal. 

Then I worked up the courage to ask him for something I needed from him- handwritten lyrics from "Ordinary Day". I explained that I wanted the second half of the chorus, and he couldn't remember it, so he asked " How does that go again? " to which I replied "At the end of the day, you've just got to say its alright." As he took a sharpie and started writing, I explained that it was for a tattoo, which confused him, but then he doesn't know the whole story. Perhaps someday I'll be brave enough to tell him. Here's how the lyrics looked:

Fast forward a few weeks and I have an appointment to get the lyrics tattooed on my leg. I was actually a bit nervous about getting this one done because I wanted I to be perfect. But my fears were for naught, as the tattoo turned out perfect:

That brings us up to December. Normally I really enjoy Christmas, but I really had a hard time getting into it this time. The tree was up, presents were bought and wrapped, everything was done. I even participated in the Santa Claus Parade in Garden Cove. And although it was raining, I had a good time, but I still felt the blues. It wasn't until the Celtic Christmas show and After Party that I finally felt the Christmas spirit. Much thanks to Con, Pat, Robert, Arthur for the laughs, tunes, and all good things. 

Went to Garden Cove for Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day, where I got to spend time with both my folks and one of my big sisters. Best Christmas in a long time. 

So, that's everything, unless I remember more. Can't wait to see what the rest of 2015 holds in store!