TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms) Day 2010; Winning the Battle

So, today is TWLOHA Day 2010. 


I don't know how to describe it, to be honest, so we'll just leave the hard stuff up to wikipedia.org. Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Write_Love_on_Her_Arms


I participated in this cause last year, and I've chosen to do so again this year. I think its important to show support and present hope for people struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury, and  thoughts of suicide.


Not all of you know this, but I have battled with depression for the last 9 years. There have been many times when I've thought about ending it all. I had thought of ways to do it, but had never thought I would carry through on any of them.


But then in August of last year, after returning home from a trip to Toronto, I crashed from the high. I was back home, home was boring, and nobody seemed to understand. I felt so alone. I felt like nobody cared, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth. So I went to the bathroom, and I took the nearest thing I could find. I think it was reactine, if memory serves me correctly. I downed whatever was left of them, and then just waited for the pain to stop.


But somewhat luckily I guess, Mom found the empty box, and questioned me on what I had done. I slowly owned up to it, and then we rushed to the hospital. The whole way there, my stomach was in knots. What had I done? Had I just tried to kill myself? Yes, that's exactly what I had done. And I hated myself for it.


When at the hospital, I kept thinking of all the people I would be letting down. My mom, for one. The woman who had brought me into the world, and given me life. The rest of my family, my adopted sisters, my adopted nephews, especially Paddy. He looks up to me, I thought, how could I let him down.  And Alan from GBS. His songs had always pulled me through, and I hadn't thought to listen to Ordinary Day that day. How would he feel, knowing what I'd just attempted? I couldn't believe all the people I was letting down.


But luckily, by the Grace of God, I am still here today, and stronger than I have ever been. I have the best friends and family a woman could ask for, and someday I resolve to tell Alan that he's saved my life, literally. I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him and the music of GBS.


So now, to show my support for my own cause, and for others going through the same things I did, I ask you to write love on your arms, and post a picture of it on facebook, or twitter, or whatever social networking site you use.


Here's mine:

Stay strong!

Krista