I'm bisexual. Yes, it's true. I haven't always known it, but about 7-8 years ago, I had a good friend who helped me become comfortable with the truth. I finally knew who I was. And I was scared as hell to admit it.
At first, the reaction was disbelief. My own mother thought it was some phase I was going through. My father wanted me to "be happy, but not in that way." It felt demoralizing. Why should I change who I am? I wasn't confused, like many people thought. I knew who I was, and I was happy about it.
Though I'm no longer friends with the person who helped me with my acceptance of who I am, I am thankful to her for freeing me.
I first met Jamie through the now defunct online kitchen party on the Great Big Sea website, and we just hit it off immediately. With her, I was fearless. For the first time in my life, I felt like I truly knew what it was to be loved by someone other than my family. And I didn't care who knew we were together. We loved each other, and that was all that really mattered.
I remember an incident in college that had me upset. I remember walking home to my apartment, in tears. When I got there, Jamie was waiting for me, and it'd never felt so right. She held me till the tears subsided, and I knew I was going to be okay. When we went back to the college to pick up some things I'd forgotten, the instructor that had upset me was in the classroom, helping another fellow student. She glared at me, but Jamie glared right back. I knew then that she had my back.
I remember one night at a pub in St. John's. We were dancing and having a blast. But this one fella would not leave her alone no matter what she said or did. I don't know what came over me that night, but I leaned over and said "kiss me," and she did. There was applause. I was showing love to the person I loved, and didn't care who knew it. We held hands on the way back to the hostel, and I didn't care who saw us.
We're no longer together, but that was a mutual decision. She has a new love now, and I accept that. And someday I hope to find that special someone.
To all those who support me and love me despite being bi, thank you. It was hard to say at first, but your acceptance meant and still means the world to me.
And to all those who struggle daily with the decision to come out, I want you to know that no matter how scary it is at first, it will get easier. And you are loved, remember that. No matter what, someone will ALWAYS love you!
I wanna end on this note. Never let somebody else judge you. Love who you want, and screw everyone else. You're still the same person you always were. Who cares if you're a woman that loves another woman. So what if you're a guy that loves another guy? That's none of anyone else's business. Love who you want to love. As long as you're happy, who is the world to judge that?
Peace & love,
Hugs & Kisses,
Krista
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